A sequel can be a beautiful thing. But sometimes they suck. Here are 5 of my least favorite.

5. The Matrix Revolutions
So The Matrix Reloaded was pretty terrible, but it looks like, well, The Matrix compared to Revolutions. Why? Well, for one thing, the film is a direct continuation of Reloaded and that sequel bloat feeling is very prevalent. Our hero Neo (Keanu Reeves) ends up being blinded in the real world and beloved characters die left and right. It all felt kind of wrong. And Agent Smith lost screentime to a Smith knock off??? Cap everything off with a cheesy happy ending and you’ve got sequel poison.

The Hangover Part II
4. The Hangover Part Two
The Hangover Part Two wasn’t so much a continuation of the first film as it was a recreation of it. Seriously, they just remade the first film and set it in Thailand (hilarious!). Lazy director Todd Phillips brings the guys back together under the guise of Stu’s (Ed Helms) wedding. Lather, rinse, repeat. Oh, and some really, really terrible shit happens to Stu in the sequel. Seriously, poor Stu.

3. Men in Black II
This may be the saddest bad sequel ever. Men in Black, the story of a clandestine alien police agency, was an original and fun sci-fi flick. Couple that with Hollywood megastar Will Smith and a sequel was inevitable. Too bad it was horseshit. The sequel was far too cartoonish and the sorry excuse for a story just seemed to be unraveling what the previous film did. At least we got not one but TWO scenes featuring Michael Jackson.

2. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End
The original Pirates of the Caribbean is a fun little flick that popularized the shit out of Johnny Depp. It made a ton of money and the hungry Hollywood executives wanted more of that sweet, sweet pirate booty. So not one but TWO sequels were filmed back to back and they were seriously sub-par. But let’s just ignore Dead Man’s Chest (the first sequel) for now. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, is some serious crap. Good characters die. The petite Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) becomes a Pirate Lord somehow. Nothing makes sense. Someone should have flushed the movie down the swirling mess of its own final set piece.

1. The Mummy Returns
The Mummy is one of my favorite horror films of all time. It has an amazing vibe and it’s loaded with fun stuff (Mummies! Killer bugs! Deadly plagues!). But the sequel was terrible. Everybody suddenly had weird super powers in this sequel. Rick (Brendan Fraser) was a spiritual Magi warrior (???) and his wife Evie (Rachel Weisz) was a reincarnated princess or some shit. And the sudden inclusion of the couple’s young son was a bummer. He wasn’t reincarnated or anything, he was just an annoying brat. Oh yeah, CGI Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson makes me sad too.

Do you agree with my list? What are some of your least favorite sequels?

8 thoughts on “5 Terrible Sequels

  1. What!? The Mummy Returns is crazy! There’s so much ridiculous action and chaos, what’s not to love? Oh, right. CGI Dwayne Johnson as Scorpion Guy. That makes everyone sad. Even Dwayne Johnson.

    While I did actually like The Mummy Returns, I’m with you on everything else. The Hangover II may be the worst offender, because it truly is THE EXACT SAME MOVIE. And what happens to Ed Helms? That’s exactly what happened to anyone who paid to see that f–king movie.

    Well done!

    • Yeah I don’t think they really knew what they were doing with The Matrix series. I really don’t appreciate any film series that completely destroys itself. Wouldn’t it have been better to have a decent Matrix film every now and then instead of two terrible sequels that kill the franchise? Oh well. Maybe they’ll revive it someday. Thanks for reading!

  2. Oh…I actually really like The Mummy Returns. It’s kind of the same movie as the first but that’s not a major problem. National Treasure 2 – now there’s a BAD sequel.

    I think parts 3 of both Hangover and Men In Black are probably more deserving of a place on this list.

    • I’m glad that there’s actually some love for The Mummy Returns. It just wasn’t for me. I actually haven’t seen Hangover Part 3, probably because I was so burned by that first sequel. I actually didn’t mind MIB 3. It was better than number 2 for me. Thanks for reading and commenting!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *