My Major Problems with What’s Your Number?

What’s Your Number? Oh, where do I begin? How ‘bout, this is the worst film I have seen in theaters this year. I’m still trying to decide what was the worst offense of What’s Your Number?

Is it that:

No, the worst offense from this lackluster romcom is a much deeper issue. You see, Main Slut Girl, is supposed to be our likable lead. And even though she is played by the zany and adorable Anna Farris, I can’t help but cringe at everything she does, or more importantly, everything the writers thought would make for great personality traits in a female lead. All Main Slut Girl does is drink, blackout and sleep with men. She has difficulty remembering their names sometimes. She sleeps with her boss that just fired her because she drinks and blacks out. Oops. She doesn’t know how to google. Yeah, really she doesn’t get it, which is probably why she got fired from that marketing job. Her entire relationship bond with Main Slut Guy (Evans) is that they are both slutty, both like Main Slut Guy’s shitty music he plays and they both eat food. Yep!

The movie also has the ugliest premise. The whole idea that Main Slut Girl needs to find all these old lovers comes from some silly filler piece in a Cosmo magazine. That’s fine, I’m willing to roll with that concept if in the end you tell the audience how absurd it would be to actually put your heart into something so vapid. But what does the movie do? Oh well first Main Girl Slut’s friends (I call them Sluts Ect.) solidify her interpretation of the magazine article, stating how helpful Cosmo has been in helping them achieve orgasm or something moronic like that. Then in the end, in a cute twist of fate (involving the ‘probably-just-doing-Chris-Pratt-a-favor’ voice of Aziz Ansari), Ally Main Girl Slut realizes she totally did stay true to what the article suggested, proving magazines are awesome at predicting shit!

Thanks a lot What’s Your Number?  Young ladies of today need a reminder every once in a while that they should take advice from people that don’t matter and strive to look like petite bottle blondes with perfect figures.

And one more gripe with Sluts Ect. I hate how romcoms, which should be trying to relate to their core audience (which I would think would be females, and also my friend Dave and possibly some gay men, too, but mainly ladies) completely don’t understand how to formulate actual female characters. AND TWO CHICKS WROTE THIS! I guess they connect with the group of girls that prance around in sexy cocktail dresses before toasting to dumb drivel they read in Cosmo. There is already enough garbage out there that young girls are exposed to making them feel like they need to be something other than themselves. Or in this case, listening to other peoples ideas of what they should be doing. Fuck that ladies, do yourself a favor and do your own thing. You are probably pretty awesome all on your own without any advice from Cosmo, MTV or the writers of What’s Your Number? 

I know I’m being harsh here. But one of the only gripes I didn’t have with this movie (aside from a few little jokes in the very beginning) is that they didn’t even attempt to stray from the romcom formula. No suprises or poorly melded third act twists, what you see is what you get. I don’t really want to come off all high horse / girl power-y, I mean we rate movies here at FTS with a Hot People category. But I just can’t help getting worked up over crap that people think is endearing behavior. And how hard is it to make a decent, relatable female character? Damn.-Lindsay